Many teachers say that they don’t often
receive information from parents about problems at home. Many parents say that
they don’t know what the school expects from their children—or from them.
Sharing information is essential and both teachers and parents are responsible
for making it happen.
The following questions and answers can
help you to get the most out of talking to your child’s teacher or with other
school staff members.
Q: What do I do first?
Learn everything that you can about
your child’s school. The more you know, the easier your job as a parent will
be. Ask for a school handbook. This will answer many questions that will arise
over the year. If your school doesn't have a handbook, ask questions. Ask the
principal and teachers, for example: What classes does the school offer? Which
classes are required? What are your expectations for my child? How does the
school measure student progress? Does it meet state standards? What are the
school’s rules and regulations?
Ask about specific teaching methods and
materials—are the methods based on evidence about what works best in teaching
reading or math? Are the science and history textbooks up to date?
Ask if the school has a Web site and,
if so, get the address. School Web sites can provide you with read access to
all kinds of information—schedules of events, names of people to contact, rules
and regulations and so forth.
Keep informed throughout the school
year. If your schedule permits, attend PTA meetings. If you are unable to
attend, ask that the minutes of the meetings be sent to you. Or, find out if
the school makes these minutes available on its Website.
Q: When should I talk with my
child’s teacher?
Early and often! Contact your child’s
teacher or teachers at the beginning of the year or as soon as you can. Get
acquainted and show your interest.
Tell teachers what they need to know
about your child. If she has special needs, make these known from the
beginning.
If you notice a big change in your
child’s behavior, school performance or attitude during the school year,
contact the teacher immediately. Report cards are one indication of how well
your child is doing in school. But you also need to know how things are going
between report cards. For example, if your son is having trouble in math,
contact the teacher to find out when he has his next math test and when it will
be returned to him. This allows you to address a problem before it mushrooms
into something bigger. Call the teacher if your son doesn’t understand an
assignment or if he needs extra help to complete an assignment. You may also
want to find out if your child’s teachers use e-mail to communicate with
parents. Using e-mail will allow you to send and receive messages at times that
are most convenience for you.
Q: What if my child has a problem,
such as with homework or not understanding what’s happening in class?
Contact the teacher as soon as you
suspect that your child has problem with his schoolwork. Schools have a
responsibility to keep you informed about your child’s performance and behavior
and you have a right to be upset if you don’t find out until report-card time
that your child is having difficulties. On the other hand, you may figure out that
a problem exists before the teacher does. By alerting the teacher, you can work
together to solve a problem in its early stages.
Request a meeting with the teacher to
discuss problems. Tell her briefly why you want to meet. You might say, “Tim is
having trouble with his social studies homework. I’m worried about why he can’t
finish the assignments and what we might do to help him.” If English is your
second language, you may need to make special arrangements, such as including
in the meeting someone who is bilingual.
Approach the teacher with a cooperative
spirit. Believe that the teacher wants to help you and your child, even if you
disagree about something. Don’t go to the principal without first giving the
teacher a chance to work out the problem with you and your child.
Q: How do I get the most out of
parent-teacher meetings?
Be prepared to listen as well as to
talk. It helps to write out questions before you leave home. Also jot down what
you want to tell the teacher. Be prepared to take notes during the meetings and
ask for an explanation if you don’t understand something.
In meetings, the teacher should offer
specific details about your child’s work and progress. If your child has
already received some grades, ask how your child is being evaluated.
Talk about your child’s talents,
skills, hobbies, study habits and any special sensitivity such as concern about
weight or speech difficulties. Tell the teacher if you think your child needs
special help and about any special family situation or event that might affect
your child’s ability to learn. Mention such things as a new baby, an illness or
a recent or an upcoming move.
Ask about specific ways to help your
child at home. Try to have an open mind. At home, think about what the teacher
has said and then follow up. If the teacher has told you that your child needs
to improve in certain areas, check back in a few weeks to see how things are
going.
Q: What if I don’t agree with a
school rule or with a teacher’s assignments?
First, don’t argue with the teacher in
front of your child. Set up a meeting to talk about the issue. Before the
meeting, plan what you are going to say—why you think a rule is unfair or what
exactly you don’t like about an assignment. Get your facts straight and don’t
rely on anger to win your argument. Try to be positive and remain calm. Listen
carefully.
If the teacher’s explanation doesn't
satisfy you, arrange to talk with the principal or even the school
superintendent. Do not feel intimidated by titles or personalities. An educator’s
primary responsibility is to ensure the success of each and every student in
his classroom, school or district.
Q: What’s the best way for me to
stay involved in my child’s school activities?
Attend school events. Go to sports events,
attend parent-teacher meetings and awards events, such annual functions etc.
Volunteer in your school. If your
schedule permits, look for ways to help out at your child’s school. Schools
often send home lists of ways in which parents can get involved.
Q: What if I don’t have time to
volunteer as much as I would like?
Even if you can’t volunteer to do work at the school building, you can help your child
learn when you’re at home. The key question is, “What can I do at home, easily
and in a few minutes a day, to reinforce and extend what the school is doing?”
This is the involvement that every family can and must provide.
The schools also need to take steps so
that parents feel good about what they’re doing at home and know they’re
helping.
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